Gen Z are suspicious of relationship age gaps. Why are we surprised?
with great power comes great responsibility
From Jay Z to Spider-Man, age gaps between couples have always been prevalent amongst the celebrity elite. Gen Z deem them far less socially acceptable than previous generations, and for good reason. The rest of the world needs to catch up.
When we mention age gaps in relationships, what comes to mind?
Leonardo DiCaprio consistently dating women under the age of 25, perhaps? How about Jerry Seinfeld dating (or grooming, depending on your definition) a 17-year-old when he was 39? Even the first on-screen Spider-Man, Tobey Maguire, is rumoured to be courting a 20-year-old woman who wasn’t even born when the film debuted in 2002.
Gen Z are particularly savvy to these types of relationships. Over the past few years, social media has been ablaze with criticism and analysis of couples who are twenty, sometimes even thirty, years apart. Swathes of Gen Zers argue that while these relationships may technically be legal, they certainly aren’t ethical, and often demonstrate an inappropriate use of power that makes the whole thing…well…icky.
This lens has recently been used to recontextualise both current and past celebrity couples that have slipped under the radar without much fuss.
There is considerable discussion as to whether Jay Z ‘groomed’ Beyonce, for example, given that they started dating when she was 19 and he was in his thirties. Don McLean, a musician in his eighties, has been dating 31-year-old Paris Dylan for ten years; we’ll let you do the maths on that one. Demi Lovato recently talked about a relationship she had with a 30-year-old when she was only 18, describing it as ‘not okay’ on the ‘Baby, This Is Keke Palmer’ podcast.
Why are Gen Z putting these types of relationships under more scrutiny now compared to prior generations?
Most young people grew up amidst massive public scandals that brought the actions of top, globally powerful men to the forefront of everyday conversations. They became aware of the potential pitfalls of age gaps, power imbalances, and the typical behaviours of certain types of people in important positions. They are generally more wary of boundaries and exploitation and are more likely to openly discuss their concerns online compared to the murky analogue days of the 1990s and early 2000s.
The long list of high-profile men in eyebrow-raising relationships extends into nearly every industry, both public and private, from music to film to politics. Pick a profession and you’ll no doubt find a paper trail of disgraced executives or, at the very least, a covered-up culture of inappropriate behaviour that thrived for decades due to a perpetual fear of being blacklisted or fired.
Scandalous ‘revelations’ (if you can call them that, though they were already obvious to many) that emerged during the #MeToo movement made clear just how widespread the abuse of power and control was amongst bosses and celebrities the world over. Gen Z are used to hearing about these awful stories and, as a result, are more likely to be suspicious of relationships that may appear to be exploitative or unconventional.
Given the state of the industries they’re entering as an emerging workforce, can you blame them?
The numbers back this up, too. A UK study last year by dating app ‘happn’ found that only 50% of Gen Z think that workplace relationships are socially acceptable, compared to 63% of Boomers and 64% of Gen X. 32% of Gen Z actively disapprove, with more believing that work and personal lives should be separate compared to their older peers. There seems to be more pushback against workplace mingling, which could be the result of dating apps and greater avenues to meet people compared to decades prior.
Even when Gen Zers say that age gaps don’t bother them, their actual behaviour suggests they still prefer narrow age ranges. On dating apps, studies found that women usually only message potential suitors up to two years older than themselves, and 20% specifically limit their searches to ensure that there is no more than a five-year age difference.
A piece by Huffington Post also confirms that many Gen Zers find age gap relationships concerning, with those interviewed discussing their own personal experiences with dodgy older people. Of course, not everyone agrees with this line of thinking, and several interviewees expressed that they weren’t fussed about a big difference in age. As with every generational study, many of the nuances come from individual experiences and perspectives, but the greater analysis and scrutiny remain with younger people, no matter which side of the fence they fall.
What does this all mean? In our digital age, where transparency and communication are more open than ever, it’s clear that relationships between partners that are decades apart no longer enjoy a guaranteed free pass. We’re all more wary of the power dynamics at play, the exploitation that often accompanies these couplings, and the potential ramifications further down the line.
This could evolve as Gen Z age, of course, but for now, it seems like stark age gaps may be steadily becoming less socially acceptable.
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As a 27 yo who’s had her fair share of age gap relationships lol, I’ve concluded that the power imbalance that comes with dating older men is never worth it
ohh thanks so much for mentioning my piece!! <3